And I Loved Again

had a dreamy tranquil life
Sleepy happy graceful nights used to love me all my life and rejoiced
In being wonderfully alive used to love everything I did
Never for once did i regret

My walk through lanes of life was steady strides
Full of joy laughs all dreams
Serene Thoughts I had piece with me

Myself I loved and…and then I loved her… I just fell… and loved her
Yes she came full into my life

I told me love was not for me,no… no more for your bones getting old and cold

Never ready for aches and breaks and… tremulance

I had never known for I liked simply my life free and no

Worries restraints, where then she came even bad dreams

Things I never known before

You said you will fill my life to brim with joy I never known

I rejoiced for a while at everything yes,

I lived everything I saw and ready to break the peace I always known

For I loved again i cried yes,aloud i loved again, yes I broke my oath again and again… ……………………….

Stirred every wave in my being, I was not ready for

Is love always torment, or it’s only you, the more I come to you

You come to me, shaking all grounds under my feet, why me

You say you loved me you died for me and I felt it???death only for me

So why I feel tormented… all the while

You sit by me and I dream of that lovely face but oh soul you always

Told get away for fire knows nothing but to burn and mess with your peace

I say I want to feel it one more time, even if to my demise then i go, I know

She offered me a lot but I saw nothing but wild fire coming !!!

I like to get warmth but you sound like you also… made an oath to break every part… of me

Is love really so cruel, as I never known

Oh the fool I am I told myself again and again stay away, stay away

But you will never leave me be for you said, come here, I told you, she said I loved you

Silly what more my youth I gave, I want it back
What? You do not want to die,but i am your death
To be continued…

Ibsen the dramatist once came to land of Arabia, he was enchanted at the charm he saw ,he loved a young lass, she lured me ,she danced ,he saw the beauty and was happy ,but all suddenly she came to laugh at him ,you fool she said ,you old you thought you dreamed and kept laughing, so he just gathered his clothes and walked away, from the deep snow then to the Sahara then back again to the freezing cold, he walked wisely away ,laughing,thinking i was a joke…

Feeling Happy

Dont want no moon ,dont want no sun,have got all that I want
Even health is never that good and heart not that strong
still though at times feeling so happy and I dont know why
My heart always tells me like I am in heavens,special for me
I am always thankful for whatever I got,the little so pleases me
That is how I get my joys,few simple things make me fly and so high
A look from a beautiful face,to hear a voice so nice like a song
To know some really care and fear for you,to know there are still some who are wonderful at heart
They make you whole ,so satisfied with what you got,and really its never was that much
I have so much love in this heart enough I could spread all around
And it feels so good,tender words and feeling told in poetic voice tell me
this is the world for me ,this is where I belong,where I ve always belonged
I am so happy ,so at peace,though I never had the moon or the sun
still I feel so happy for I ve got all I want,and really its never that much..what I got

Pain And Romance

Romance with lots of pain

I knew her all the way ,since I set foot on that wonderful island when she first asked me if I was really from Iraq ,and she laughed ,and joked that she was also from Mars ,when I affirmed what I said ,she just looked at me with stunned eyes ,not believing ,you are joking right, she said .No ,I went on…

She just kept looking, now very silent ,there was a long a pause ,I could look in those beautiful blue eyes ,she was so tall ,very nice looks ,eyes so wild and lively ,yes I was drawn and accustomed to her looks and to her face ,she really broke my heart every time I looked at her from afar ,but then she would eye me every while ,I really wondered…

So there was a long pause when she said ,so you are from there , but I heard no one is left there ,I thought everybody died in a while ,then there was another pause where she kept looking at me ,yes she said ,it serves you right ,you fought the whole world ,then her lips quivered and eyes gone moist ,I could hear, see muffled sobs ,then she said so faintly ,no ,no really I never meant it dear ,I am sorry, you never deserved that, I heard from my sister once she worked in Iraq ,she told me ,you were nice people,oh yes they never let you live ,but surely they want you all dead ,now there was almost wild tears ,and cries ,tell me , she said, there are so many like you from there, like us human ,with everything, hands legs ,nothing missing ,I heard there were some horrible things from there,oh dear how could you stand all this and still in your right senses, do you really still feel like us ,do you love, could you love me ,I saw you look at me once ,but I dismissed it ,now that I know ,how could you love ,I think all you do is hate ,do you hate me ,but I love you dear I could take you in my arms give all the kindness in the world and protect you from the so much pain you surely feel ,what have you done to deserve all that …

We were standing at the entrance to the emergency rooms, under a small roof that kept us dry from the raging rain, as now ….

it was raining like mad, as if the skies were also sad and crying, the rain, the heavenly tears ,that’s why I think I went down the rain so it fits me well, I was near her ,I was looking in front of me and I kept silent all the while ,then seeing the rain ,I was taken by the great sight, the rain kept pouring on the all around you high green grass, all the tall trees, the sight was great I felt myself very unworthy of the going on sad talk ,I took some steps into the rain, I did not know what I was doing she must think I was going mad, I was a mess now, all wet ,but I just liked to feel wet and having that rain falling on me and I turned around to her ,I looked at her ,she was somewhat baffled at me ,her eyes looking suspicious, that I could have gone mad ,I took a long look at her and smiled in a very silly and loony way ,you think I am mad ,I said ,yes I think so dear, I went on, sometimes I got these wild fits ,I am sure I am crazy somehow …

she looked back and was very alarmed ,I think she wanted to pacify my feelings and smiled ,I could see it was a forced smile for I could see she was really alarmed at what was going on ,and said ,come on dear, come back from the rain ,you will mess up your clothes and hair, and your soul …

I looked back ,no ,I said ,leave me here ,you go back in ,I will not bring my troubles onto you ,I am really troubled in mind, I want to stay in the rain ,and I kept smiling that very unhealthy smile ,very surprisingly ,she came into the heavy rain ,took my arms and took my head in her hands and kissed me strong ,it was the sweetest thing I ever felt in a while ,I just kept looking at her eyes ,now I could not hold my tears any more so I let myself into a frenzy cry ,she just kept kissing me on my cheeks like trying to wipe the tears away ,and she hugged my tight ,I was so happy while still crying ,it was very mixed feeling ..

Here she pulled at my arm and took me back to the back yard of the building, this is the back door to my room, she said, and she went in and pulled me inside, and closed the door.

Never Believed In Supermen

The sky was so cloudy like my mind..So many bright visions kept coming and going..

Could see so many people here and there..Loved the way they walked,like all lost..Like nothing..

Thoughts of you always run to my mind,never stopping..I remember everything.. you pacify my mind..You make me think again that the rain and sun,night and day could come again right at once for you changed all the rules ,its you who make them now..times in the snow I could feel so warm..
In the darkest of nights I could see bright days, in the skies I could see even the stars, you make me think that life is never silly..No matter how everything looks so sad, I could still see your smile.. I never believed in supermen until I saw you, no one could bring a smile onto a sad face but you..no one could bring the rains and the sun and rainbow, fill the skies with colors,yet not as beautiful as your eyes though ,you could do all that.. no one could wipe all the pains out of the saddest of hearts, and fill them with joy with just a look from those eyes, with just a smile from that face , telling me everything is all right, I don’t think there is any power greater than you..you change the dark into light, clouds into something so bright..you bring sweet dreams in the midst of day so I don’t have to sleep my nights..you show me rainbows anytime you like..you touch my face ,and close my eyes, so I can see you much better, you would do everything so it looks like heavens..you took me there always ,but all the way I knew its you being near.. that make it like the sweetest heavens..

For Your Eyes

Your Eyes…
Your Eyes told me life is still worth living contrary to what I used to believe..They told me there is so much beauty and hope to still live for..
I have walked some roads nobody ever walked before,been to places so miserable and lonely and cruel nobody ever thought they existed on this earth..
I have lived such loneliness that will kill any man soul..that will make him wish he has not seen the day he was born…
Yet the light in Your Eyes make me forget every trouble I have been through, Make me wish I would live my life a second and a third time
Your eyes tells me life was never worth living before the day I saw you..I wished then I would live a thousand years..just to look in them.
I would forget all my troubled life all the sorrows ,all the pains ,the cruelties I have ever seen,and all the madness I ever seen or heard
I would even love to see all the misery that I have seen again and again just for your eyes sake..
I have seen some dark nights and some horrors that made me shake all over,and was so afraid,yet I stood my grounds..
I have faltered at times and almost gave up every hope..even tears I have shed a lot..but I waited and was patient..
Just hoping for another day to see Your eye..
Your eyes Is What I Live For

I will live..

A friend asked me once, that he is surprised how I laugh and my writings and reviews are so happy and full of joy
While we lead such a terrible life. Here came these thoughts…
No matter if the sky is cloudy, rainy and black. I will live
No matter if my roads are bumpy full of never joyful rides. I will live
So many explosions, bombings around me, leading a very risky life. But I will live
I get very sad at what I see every day, so much misery around, but I will laugh and I will live
No matter how like is so hard and was ever so like this all my life. Still, I will live
And if I was caught between heavy fires, I always knew God was with me. And I lived
But if by mistake I was hit, then I would laugh and say goodbye to life. Then I could not live. Not any more
And I will excuse those who brought us these ways, as before I die, I will laugh again, it’s a stupid life anyway

War..War..War.. That counts up to three

I was only a youth ,I just graduated from college was happy ,somewhat ,my mind already filled with so much readings of writers who draw life always as so black ,I became to know life in realty, as cruel ,it will never give you happiness but little. few months later our boss told us that the land is in great danger ,we had to go to war ,I never been in military uniform before, I was much stupefied ,shortly after found myself on the fronts it was like a dream ,I saw youths die each minute , wondered ,was I a hero ,among heroes dying ,but I was smart enough to know better ,so it was trouble ahead ,I began to talk ,never deliberate , was still naive among wolves, they took every word I said and with out knowing , I was called in front of the commander of the regimen . You are a disgrace you should be hanged right here, he said, and for your knowledge he was not joking, he could do it in seconds. I was so lucky I was sent to disciplinary prison, its was my first experience, I have never had such a luxury before. I was taken there ,I saw inmates who have been there for years ,lying on ground you never see them move only know they are alive by their slow moving chest ,every once in awhile one of them die and taken to be buried . There was torture ,about 5 types ,as I was doctor of the regimen ,I was spared any one of them ,the nastiest was the circle of death ,we gather in a circle and run in a circle and one of the guards run after us with a whip ,the slowest running gets the more sashes until all his back skin is cut, but I survived . I spent 5 years like that, and was released in disgrace later; I was back to my job as a doctor in the country side. Only for a few months ,when the Boss again said the country was in danger ,so we went back to the military ,this time it was America Kuwait and us ,we had the most fearful days in our lives ,they used weapons first ever used most sophisticated, no one was in touch with any other ,family or friends ,until the end ,I was in the south, lost no way to go back home ,there was no bus rides or anything so I took the road home walking ,about 700 kilometers back home. Again I was resident surgeon in a hospital ,,the country was demolished to pieces ,I fled the country ,I came back when the boss left office and gave it to the Americans ,I was glad ,I said at last we will have some piece ,we may share the damned oil with the Americans ,and have some stability at last ,maybe make a family build a new life ,but gain I was wrong there seems to be some other plans in the American mind ,so the killings started, lost so many friends walking the streets ,that was their mistake ,so many families and children orphaned ,now few I know are still living ,or gone outside Iraq as refugees ,but I am proud of one thing ,we have a democracy now we are free at last ,we are fighting terror with our friends ,what can I ask for more , say ,don’t be so greedy.

Night Call,Part One

I did not want to write this

it was one cold day it was raining, it was night early night ,in that magical island, I had a night duty, I was feeling blue ,I was away from all ,family and everyone I knew back home ,the feeling was so strong ,I was so oppressed, I did not know what to do ,I usually had these spells, not easy to break.

I was on the third floor, it was half through the night, I knew some nice nurses there, and two were really heart breaking.

They would come to my room for some advice or call me to see a case; we were like ghosts moving through the night, everything was sad for me really, if not for the nice faces of two breath taking nurses. Sometimes they call for me just to tease, I remember one in the 2nd floor, each time I look into her eyes ,I forget all my troubles away ,I sometimes joke with her ,I tell her I come here to forget ,myself and my life ,she just laugh and look at me in that lovely sweet way ,and says I know ,I know, I am here ,I will make you forget your world ,I said please do ,then she would eye me in that naughty way and say ,what is it you mean ,so I just look back and enjoy more of that lovely face ,but I pull myself away ,for I really do not know what I want from her ,or what’s she really after me for.

I get a call now from emergency down on the first floor ,I feel so tired and not willing to move ,but I just look at my sweet friend ,and tell myself its better that way ,the spell was broken so I pull myself away ,saying to her: duty calls ,she looks somewhat mad but she tells me to my back :you wont run away from me ,you hear ,I am after you ,and I hear a faint laughing…

I walk down the stairs ,and come to the front building of the emergency and come to the front door while I am going in I look back at the driveway ,and head there ,there were lots of gardens ,the rain still went on ,and I just stood there ,where I could feel the rain drops hitting somewhat hard on a soul really feeling bad ,oh dear rain ,wash my decay ,I want to come out of here clear and clean ,I could feel the drops on my head ,its like I want to wash the dirt away, but no way could I do that ,as sweet as the rain was ,and the breeze from the sea hissing softly by my side bringing all the aroma from the lovely sea all around me ,its so nice I even cried a little ,I cannot see so much beauty in this world ,I feel numb all over and then I shake my self of such mad thoughts I bring a towel from a hand bag I carry with me wipe the tears and the rain drops ,and arrange myself a little ,and straighten my clothes and go inside.

The first face I meet , the second heartbreaker ,the nurse on the first floor ,there were two heartbreakers ,one on each floor ,I remember first meeting her when I joined the hospital staff, she asked me ,where you from deary ,I remember I just looked to that heavenly face ,I have really seen non like it before ,she was so tall, thin all legs ,face so different from others ,but its usually the eyes ,I just kept looking deep into them ,then I pulled myself back to realty ,I was still new by then everything seemed so strange and I said, I come from Iraq .I could never forget the way she just looked at me ,mouth gaping wide took long time to think over my words and said ,yes and I come from Mars, she looked as if offended her and waiting for me to correct my words and apologize ,but I just stood there helpless as if saying what can I say ,you could easily be from mars and I am from Iraq.

The long pause made her understand ,and said ,oh my God ,you really come from there ,I heard ,there is no one left there, they said you were all wiped from the face of earth ,and serves you right she cried at me and said ,serves you right ,fighting all the world around you and smiled ,I just stood there ,I did not know what to say ,I just kept silent , while she seeing me like that ,I could see tears in her eyes ,saying oh no my dear I was joking ,I know you were fooled in all the things you have gone through ,my sister worked in Iraq, she told me you are a peaceful people ,you just never had a chance ..to live ,you only had a chance to die ,and now I was surprised ,tears were gathering so strong in her very beautiful eyes ,I just stood there like a jerk ,I did not know what to say ,I just said again and again yes dear ,I am from Iraq I was almost like in a trance, I said it three times ,she came near ,I was surprised she just took my head in her arms and kept looking at me ,oh thanks God you are alive are there so many like you ,never hurt with everything limbs ,legs and all sorts of things we human usually have ,now almost laughing and crying ,I could never forget that encounter ,that’s why I love that dear girl ,she is always in my heart and mind ,for she cares ,and there are not much who really care anymore these days.

Peace..

oh peace what a wonderful word,we all sing of it

peace be with you

may rest in eternal peace

have a peaceful day

so peaceful they are

peace,its not just calm and quiet

its respect to humans

i have never seen peace all my life

how i wish to live if only for a few days

but peace was never meant for us

greed is all i knew since young

killing and blood is all i used to see

oh my friends oh how ugly

if you have seen the amount of blood i saw

the many lives i witnessed be taken

lives …dreams hopes endless thoughts of the future

in a flicker is taken away

life leaving behind so many others

children and wife and home

only used to be home

now its no more

when i walk the streets i see lots of red

so thick it tells how many here just left

but they left behind their flesh so much

every beautiful morning i would go out

to see these mass of flesh heaped in every corner

this is how much man is worth,a heap of flesh

i just look ,never believe my eyes

never seen so many,no move ,no life

i really cry and cry hard

i see faces looking at me eyes not moving

some frozen in a smile,some so frightened

some almost look asleep

others look they once have been so alive

so i turn around and go home till next morning

when i will come out see a new collection

and i marvel at what,at what this world has come to be

The Bitch…

Our life is all disturbed, so why not having it be disturbed more

I like that chaos, lets have some more, it intrigues me, I know I get nauseated, but I like it

I always like my life like that, never knowing where I am going

I like that, I like to feel lost as I was… all through

I like to feel pain, pain so much of it, Pain becomes me

It suits me well, it’s my life my whole life

I like it when it’s sad; I like it when it’s so bad

I like it when I feel disgust all around me

It feels so good; it feels like home, it’s the only home I know
It’s the only home I ever known

Let it come, I like it when it’s dark

I fear the light, it does not becomes me

I like it when I am getting old and rusty

It feels so good, thats how I know life my dear
That’s how I have always known life,
The bitch she is …life